The Trattoria Project and Spectaculars: Plausible Threat

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Sunday, February 3, 2008

Plausible Threat

I think that people who call themselves vegetarians for the sake of stopping animal deaths or to abide 'kill no life forms' rules are a bunch of ludicrous and lifeless donkeys because of their sheer ignorance for mother nature and for their own well being.

These anti animal killing vegetarians believe that vegetables like carrots, cabbage and celery grows solely on sun, water and soil and therefore won't harm animals in the process. These idiots are wrong. Little did they know, hundreds or maybe thousands of lesser intelligent herbivores and/or omnivores like rabbits and bears are painfully dying everyday by being shot down or by getting caught in barbed wires and bled to death because they are hungry and desperately want to feed on vegetables in farms. And don't blame the farmers you dipshits, they are merely trying to earn a living by protecting their crops. Remember that the more vegetables they demand the more cute little animals will cruelly die.

I won't blame you if you think that was a pile of bullshit but imagine what will happen if the campaign of the vegetarians becomes successful and the governments of the entire world bought their bullshit and not eat meat? Will life be better? Will man and Bambi infatuate? Will there be a whole new meaning to 'Puppy Love'?

No. So put away the pipe. This is what will happen:

Everyone will die much earlier because they won't have enough red blood cells. New Zealand will perish because livestocks will be set free to eat a shitload of greens that vegetarians live on and produce immeasurable amounts of offspring to eat more greens. Animal porn industry will rise and so will the number of newly discovered STDs. Great chefs will commit suicide. People allergic to legumes, citrus, iodine and such will commit suicide. The world will be experiencing a perpetual famine because of the unnatural nature cycle. The world will end.

In other words, every voluntary vegetarian is potentially a terrorist. For the love of mother nature and mankind, dictate your vegetarian friends or family to eat meat like a human should, use force if you need to, it's only for a good cause.

Existing in this world is another group of people volunteering to vegetarianism because of 'kill no life form' beliefs. Kudos to them for their faith and determination, but I feel sad for them for suffering for nothing. Not because I'm distrusting their beliefs, but because there are things they don't know.

If any living thing is able to kill no life form in this world, I will cut off my bollocks with a blunt knife. By killing no life forms, you are actually telling me that you:

1. Never flush your toilet and you love the smell of abominable rancid decomposed turd because flushing them down will kill bacteria lives that are present.
2. Can exist in this world by not eating because everything we eat are life forms. In case you're wondering, plants are life forms too, they need sunlight, water, fertilizer and air to grow, yes?
3. Keep your ejaculation in an incubation storage.
4. Are already dead because breathing kills organisms in the air.

It is only natural and enjoyable for us to eat meat, so go forth and grab a burger now. The only vegetarians that are sane and I completely empathize are the people who love meat but cannot consume so because of some lethal allergies. Just for this group of unfortunate people, I hope you will like this really delicious vegetarian recipe.

Wild Mushrooms with Fresh Pasta

Mise en Place
serves 4

450g Fresh Pasta
400g Mixed Wild Mushrooms
1 medium Onion, chopped
3 cloves of Garlic, chopped
300ml White Wine
2 Tbsp Butter
3 sprigs Thyme
Juice of 1/2 a Lemon
Italian Parlsey, chopped
Sea Salt
Black Pepper
Freshly Grated Parmesan

Saute onion, mushrooms and garlic in butter and EVOO.
Add thyme and white wine then reduce.
Cook pasta in boiling hot salted water until al dente. Drain.

Toss with mushroom mixture and add parsley, lemon juice, Parmesan and season.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

actually our problem is the systemized killing that happens to make this smooth transition from farmer to consumer. ok, so it is natural to be carnivorous, i accept it; is it naturally to rear and kill things from birth, waste meat needlessly, have no regard for nature's gift because of $$$? ffs people like you who categorically dismiss vegetarians really need a different perspective. its natural to eat meat yeah, but it's not natural the way *we* humans fucking do it.