This is how breakfast-in-bed should look like.

It should also be messy and soul satisfying. It should make her hungry for some more. Breakfast-in-bed must be done fast. Don't have her waiting too long. Because when she comes to the kitchen it's breakfast-in-bed no more! Do it in ten minutes, love is in the air chemistry is smooth, you hit her buttons right, your competency sparkles her eyes, she gets to work on time. Fifteen minutes, you're trying she apprehends, you receive her benefit of doubt. Sixty minutes, you're trying too hard, game over, she thinks she slept with a loser who had never done breakfast-in-bed before but you got laid so you win anyhow.

Scrambled eggs and sausages maybe a good bet, but it is cliche. How about toast and butter? It shows how boring you are. Express fast food delivery? Great but transfer the food to the plates fast and don't make a sound, open the door before delivery guy hits the doorbell, fry some water in your pan to sound like you're busy. Too much trouble. Sod it, tell her you can't cook and it's not a big deal. It is not a big deal. Unless you're wanting to impress to go further. Then this is what you could do:

Breakfast in Bed - 8-10mins

Ingredients - 1 Egg, bunch of Salad Leaves(I used rockets, what's new), Fresh Mushrooms(Shittake in picture), 4 Bacon Strips, 2 slices of Bread, EVOO, Salt & Pepper.
Optional: Truffle Oil, Thyme Leaves.

0-30 secs: Get pan hot. Get your ingredients ready.
30secs-1min: Sear bacon strips in hot pan. Put bread in toaster.
1-4mins: Get a separate pan hot, add a touch of oil and fry an egg. Season egg. Take it out when it's cooked, set aside. Flip bacon when underside turns crispy brown. Remove bread from toaster and spread thinly with butter if preferred.
4-6mins: Using remaining oil from the pan you cooked the egg, saute mushrooms with a whole crushed clove of garlic and with thyme leaves. Saute for about 1 min on high heat, season and set aside discarding the garlic. Remove bacon(it should be crispy by now) and set aside on paper towels.
6-10mins: Put toast on the middle of a plate. Lay egg on top. Scatter with salad leaves, mushrooms and bacon. Drizzle with truffle oil. Good to go.

If this is too difficult, then wait for my upcoming quickie posts for more super fast recipes.

This is my day

The KaoHsiung trip is history. I came back together with nasty food experiences and heightened blood sugar levels. It's a wonder the entire country isn't diabetic because of the dominating presence of sugar in nearly every meal they eat. Even the Sashimi platter I had was drizzled with some honey soy, and it was also utterly disgusting. The beef Cappaccio had an appalling sweet vinaigrette and a packet of fries was seasoned with sugar. It's enough to make any pastry chef quit their job.

And if that's bad enough, they've got an unbelievably persistent bunch of people too. When I was strolling down the food department in a shopping district, I felt like I got stuck in some stock market instead. Food sellers from all corners will consistently insist that you sample their most amazing product. If you walk away, they'll go great lengths to make sure their voices would be loud enough to reach your ears. And when you finally decide to sample their product and not buy it because it tastes like shit, they'll give a look on the face like you had just spent their entire life savings on visor hats and fancy stickers and like you had just castrated their favorite pet.

I don't know about you, but nothing starts my day like a plate of good pasta. Especially when my palates are heavily traumatized by shitty food. Good pasta doesn't mean jarred Prego sauce with minced pork and canned mushrooms. Good pasta means a burst of mind blowing flavors with a good hint of wheat in the mouth. It's quite sad actually, most Singaporeans perceive pasta as TV dinner or fast food because good pastas are always outrageously priced. (at least SGD$10 for a decent aglio olio - pasta, garlic and olive oil. And no, not the one from Pasta Mania.) No one pays for something that already has a bad stigma.

Quite recently, I stumbled across one of the most amazing Italian cookbooks I've ever seen in a book store. I know I'm a little late but it's the Babbo cookbook by Mario Batali. There was only one left on the shelf and on it is a price tag that would instantly induce a terrible itch to the back of anyone's head upon sight. $82.92. Being the impulsive brat that I am, I bought it immediately because I thought that such books are hard to come by.

I tried the Pasta Amatriciana recipe two times today, one straight from the book the other with a little tweaking. I won't tell you which is better because I'm not shameless. For the record, both were bursting with flavors and are absolutely delicious so try the recipe if you haven't already know what good pasta tastes like. But due to copyright laws I'll show you my version of the recipe.

Spaghettoni All'Amatriciana
adapted from the Babbo cookbook
Serves 4

200g Pancetta or Good Quality Bacon, sliced
3 Garlic Cloves, finely chopped
1 Red Onion, diced
1.5 tsp Red Pepper Flakes
1.5 cups Basic Tomato Sauce
400g Spaghettoni Pasta
a handful Italian Parsley, chopped
2 tsp Light Cream or Creme Faiche
Fleur de Sel
Freshly Cracked Black Pepper

1. Boil water with salt in a pot.

2. Render bacon fat in saute pan until most of the fat is out. Remove bacon and set aside on paper towels. Reserve fat in pan.

3. Saute onions in bacon fat until translucent. Add garlic, reserved bacon and red pepper, saute until garlic turns lightly brown.

4. Season, add tomato sauce and simmer.

5. Cook pasta according to packet instructions in boiling salted water until al dente. Add to simmering sauce.

6. Add parsley and toss pasta. Serve.

Fit for the King ..or the Bin?

Grilled Chicken with Capers on Wilted Spinach and Citrus Vinaigrette


Flank Steak, Sun Dried Tomato and Piman Pepper Sandwich

These are my lab test versions of the Chicken Piccata and Skirt Steak Sandwich respectively. I know, I must be a genius right? No, you're not right. Looks are deceiving. One of them is perfectly fit for the bin. Which is it? Can you differentiate the shit from the sublime? Think about it.

If you thought the steak sandwich was the flop and the chicken was fit for a king, then the king must be eating from his bin. That lovely acidic sauce from a Chicken Piccata seems to only go well when the chicken is crumbed and fried. Having the lemony acid on a grilled chicken was the culinary equivalent to a plate pasta with commercial strawberry sauce. I thought I'd refined the Chicken Piccata, but nothing went right. Every remote trace of deliciousness from the Piccata have vanquished after a crashing failure and can't be located because they got stranded somewhere far away on a mysterious island. A Chicken Fiasco.

Steak sandwich, orgasmic. The Japanese Piman peppers were experimented in hopes that its delicate and sweet flavor would contrast with the grainy and bold texture of the flank steak. It worked. And with the slight tartness from the sun dried tomato, it turns out to be better than I had expected it. It will probably be on the menu so I can't show you the recipe.

See you in a month.

Insalata Toscana

A handful of wild rockets. Herb-poached Italian potatoes. Freshly cut Roma tomatoes. Salted capers and shallots. Drizzle of red wine vinaigrette and Tuscan fruity olive oil. Fleur de Sel and freshly cracked black peppercorns. Very delicious indeed.

There is nothing amazing about the Italian cuisine without the simple, unpretentious and ass-kicking peasant style cooking. If you haven't already know, that is exactly what the Trattoria Project is all about.

Before I venture out for another awe-inspiring month in Taiwan, I made it a point to comfort my palates with as much Italian food as I can. That being said, I hope you'd find Insalata Toscana as pleasurable and comforting as it is to me.

Insalata Toscana
serves 4


350g slab of Roast Beef, diced
4 medium Potatoes, diced
3 large Sage leaves
3 medium Roma tomatoes, diced
3 small Shallots, chopped
1 Tbsp Red Wine Vinegar
1 tsp Crushed Red Pepper
1 Tbsp Salted Capers
Handful of Flat Leaf Parsley, chopped
Handful of Rockets
EVOO
Fleur de Sel
Freshly Cracked Black Pepper

Boil potatoes in salted boiling water, sage leaves and some EVOO until al dente. Drain and set aside. Whisk EVOO, vinegar, crushed pepper, fleur de sel and pepper. Combine everything, toss and season. Enjoy.

About Time.

Out with the old.

And say hello to the new sexy.

Evaluation One

After two years of planning and eight months of intensive blabbering, kitchen failures and broken plates, my dream of having a Trattoria of great and inexpensive food is finally becoming a reality. Before that happens, I must put my food menu to the test. Every week, I will invite human guinea pigs to evaluate my menu items. If it's good, they get wet and so will I. If it isn't they die and I've got nothing to lose.

Names of the menu dishes have been drastically simplified. Recipes won't be shown. Pictures won't be shown for this one because I totally forgot to take them but they will be in the future, otherwise posts like these will be completely redundant. Don't take badly or start to hate me, it's only business. :)

Featuring:
Jon. The epitome of the new age dreamer. The aspiring musician, teacher, designer and publicist.


The adhesively inseparable smiley couple. Ashton and Caroline.


The human guinea pigs have two dishes to evaluate.

First dish: Purple's Veal Saltimbocca

Jon: 8/10. "Graced on the greens and savored a perfect blend of veal and cured ham." "Better rare."
I think he's being overly rhetorical so I didn't get what he was trying to tell me. But I believe it's something he'd definitely pay for.

Caroline: 8/10. "More veal please, I don't eat greens." "It needs to be hotter."
Ashton: 8.5/10. "I wouldn't mind not having the veal but I'd definitely mind if there isn't that salad." "Slightly too salty."
I'm sure you get the adhesively inseparable part now.

Second dish: Purple's Prawn Pasta with ******* Pesto

Jon: 8.5/10. "Smooth." "Wine, too much."
Ashton: 9/10. "That tomato is really good." "A little too oily."
Caroline: 9/10. "Good ah." "Bigger prawns next time."

If you've a good palate and got what it takes to give a good critique, contact me at uncle_purple@yahoo.com.

Salve.

Lest you worry. The Trattoria Project is still alive and kicking like sextuplets in an expecting mother. Until June, I will be stuck with a huge inevitable load of obligatory traveling. Free time have certainly not been my best friend, so don't expect any frequent updates soon.

Thailand is a pretty fun place to go, I'm sure everyone will agree. Unfortunately, I am there strictly for business. But thank god we managed to make it to the Floating Market of Thailand.



As you can see, the floating market is quite like the wall street of food brokers, spice traders and hat sellers. The 40 degree celsius weather and the perpetual clatter instantly induces a hell-raising headache, it can make you feel really uncomfortable. But the headache immediately dissipates when you bite into a battered plantain fritter or slurp down a bowl of steaming offal noodles. Both absolutely delicious but it also comes with stomach flu and diarrhea.

There are no pictures because I brought my camera without the memory card. Sorry.

If you've never been there and if you have plans to go there soon, here's an advice: don't take the boat, walk. You'd find out why.

However amazing the food was, after a month of deprivation, I was desperate for some Cucina Italia. Because it only takes about 10 mins and because it is also unbelievably delicious, I skipped the duty free and rushed home from the airport only to make some Pork Vino Bianco.

Tagliata di Maiale Al Vino Bianco
serves 2



2 Pork Chops, boned
2 Tbsp Plain Flour
1/4 cup Chicken Stock
1 cup Dry White Wine
1 sprig Rosemary, chopped
50g Butter
EVOO
Sea Salt
Black Pepper

Season chops with salt and pepper. Coat evenly with flour.


Brown chops in pan over medium heat with a little EVOO and half the butter.


Remove chops and set aside to rest. Drain grease from pan and deglaze with white wine, chicken stock and rosemary. Stir in rest of butter.


Serve chops on plate drizzle with deglaze. I added some poached asparagus and shallots with a white wine dressing, feel free.